Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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