Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
