My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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