Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
