there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
