eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you had me at cake vodka
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
