i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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