i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
