the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
