how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
