ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
