Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
