If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
