You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
