How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
