I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Michael Bay diarrhea
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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