if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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