a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
whose parrot is this?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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