So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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