Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
