She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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