She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
