ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
