Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
