Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize