is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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