remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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