just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
