STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
