I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
