So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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