covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
