it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I have aggressive nipples.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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