I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize