The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
