Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
