Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
