You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
