i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
