My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
