chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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