is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
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