i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
