Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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