i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
well you can't waste a boner
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
