i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
