the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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