I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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