He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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