There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
