It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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