they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
